


“You love me… Why the hell do you love me?”

by ContextuaLIZd



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Peraltiago - Fandom, jake and amy - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Peraltiago I love yous, early peraltiago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:08:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28552872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ContextuaLIZd/pseuds/ContextuaLIZd
Summary: The story behind “Every time we get emotional, he says ‘Noice. Smort.’” and the reason why Jake was not able to say I love you to Amy first.Set after “The Cruise”Title from the song Best Part Of Me by Ed Sheeran feat. YEBBA
Relationships: Jake Peralta & Amy Santiago, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 12
Kudos: 34





	“You love me… Why the hell do you love me?”

**Author's Note:**

> Since my favorite show has started shooting their 8th season recently. I decided to write another fan fiction about it. And also because I love the song Best Part Of Me by Ed Sheeran so much and it really inspired me to write a story that relates to it. Hope you guys like it!

_But she loves me, she loves me_

_Why the hell she love me_

_When she could have anyone else?_

_Oh, you love me, you love me_

_Why the hell do you love me?_

_'Cause I don't even love myself_

Jake opened the door to their suite and started kissing Amy again as soon as they were inside. They just came back from the dancing class and they couldn’t seem to let go of each other. They kissed with so much passion but also with such tenderness. Like they want to pour out the intensity of their emotions that they’ve both been holding in for so long.

“I love you, Jake,” Amy tells him when they broke the kiss to catch their breaths.

“I love you too, Ames,” Jake tells her, feeling relieved to finally be able to say it out loud.

Amy touched his face and brushed her thumb on his skin. And Jake can’t help but smile and lean into the tenderness of her touch. He still can’t believe that this amazing woman actually loves him. She’s too good and too perfect. He’s such a mess and to him, it’s surreal that someone like her could actually love him back. It just doesn’t make sense.

In hindsight, he probably already knew that he loved her even before they said it to each other. He might have loved her long before he even dared to admit it to himself.

Maybe it was too soon to tell, but he’s probably been in love with her since that day she went to his apartment to tell him that they should just “Screw light and breezy”.

He’s probably already in love with her when he decided that he’ll be willing to be demoted if it meant he could still be with her. 

But what really made his feelings stronger, were the many times Amy made him feel special. 

He’s always been insecure about himself even though he’ll never let it show. Growing up with a cheating father who eventually left, probably did that to him. He became cautious with his relationships. Too afraid to take things seriously. Always trying to hide his emotions behind his jokes and laid back attitude.

He always felt like he couldn’t possibly be a good match for Amy. She’s so put together while he’s just all over the place. But she never made him feel like that mattered. She cared for him like no one did before.

When the Vulture threatened to demote him if he continued to date Amy, she was willing to stay away from him even if it would hurt her. She didn’t want him to compromise his dreams just for her. 

She understood him, even if they were so different. Their interests were contrasting, but he saw how Amy tried to acquaint herself in his world.

Watching Die Hard with him till the very end of the movie, even if she’s clearly not into it.

Trying to cheer him up by giving him a sticker just for waking up during that time he was suspended by the Vulture for working a case behind his back.

Buying Orangina for him because she thought it was orange soda and she wanted to buy him his favorite drink cause he clearly loves them.

Enduring his lumpy mattress for a while even when she can’t get any sleep just so she could spend the night with him in his apartment.

Checking up on him from time to time cause she felt guilty when she wasn’t able to come to him faster during that time he had a “Die Hard situation” at the mall with Gina and Charles.

Taking care of him during that time he got quarantined with Holt when they both got the mumps.

Trying to cook for him so he would stop eating cold pizza when they both know that she couldn’t cook anything even if her life depended on it. 

And even in this cruise, which he has so clearly messed up right from the very beginning by working too hard on following Doug Judy’s every move instead of enjoying it with her. She wanted to have fun with him and do all the stuff in their itinerary, and any girl would have been pissed with a boyfriend who continues working while they’re on vacation. Sure, they’re cops and the criminal is right in front of them but he has to admit that he may have gone overboard with the Pontiac Bandit thing.

But Amy understood. She even helped him all throughout. Not complaining even if it wasn’t what she expected at all. And he appreciates that so much.

She did so many things for him that no one has ever done before. And with every little thing that she does, he falls in love a little bit more.

But he didn’t tell her. Cause he was afraid it might scare her off. They’ve only been together for a few months, and he’s not sure how she would feel if he suddenly confesses that he’s already in love with her. 

He was afraid that she doesn’t feel the same way about him yet. They may be together but he doesn’t really think that someone like Amy Santiago would love Jake Peralta. 

What if she’s just doing all this because she wants to be an amazing girlfriend. And not exactly for the reason that she loves him back. She’s quite competitive so it could be possible. Plus he thinks that there’s no way Amy would ever love him back. He’s totally flawed. And he knows Amy could easily find someone who’s so much better. 

Telling her he loves her could send her running to the door. Just like everyone else in his life. Every time he gets too emotionally invested… they leave. It happened with his dad. It happened with Sophia. And he’s not sure if he can take it if it ever happens between him and Amy.

So instead of telling her how he actually feels, he did what he does best. Hide behind his stupid jokes. Every time he starts to feel his emotions towards Amy get to him, he tries to hide it with a “Noice. Smort.” Which usually ruins whatever emotional moment they have. But he figured that’s probably fine. That’s how they’ve always been. Teasing each other. Making fun of each other. It’s better off that way. Better than being too clingy too soon and assuming that she would actually fall in love with him.

But she did. She loves him. She said so herself.

At first, he thought maybe he’s dreaming. 

_Did she really say that? Is this real? Am I still alive?!_

He was too nervous that he stupidly responded with a “Noice. Smort.” yet again. Then, he realized, _screw this_! He has to let her know how he feels. So when he said “I love you too”, and he saw the happiness that immediately showed on her face, he just felt so full of joy. Her beautiful smile and her eyes that shone with pure glee is the best thing he’s ever seen. And his only regret is that he never said it first cause he kept holding back.

“I still can’t believe it.”

“What?”

“That you love me.”

“Why?”

“I mean, I’m… me. And you’re… you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just… look at you. You’re amazing. You’re beautiful and smart and so organized and put together. And I’m just… a complete wreck. 

I mean, I think I’m beautiful too but that’s probably where the similarity ends. 

I’m just kidding about that last part. Or not... It’s up to you really. If you’d agree. I’m gonna shut up now.”

Amy just smiled fondly at him.

“Okay first of all Jake, yes I think you are beautiful. I’m pretty sure I’ve told you that before. But no, you are not a complete wreck. I think you’re amazing and hella smart too. Maybe not organized, but I don’t care. That’s my thing. You don’t need to jump on it.

I love you because you are a good person. Yes, you’re impulsive and sometimes a bit childish but I love that about you. And even if you pose as someone who only cares about himself and doesn’t want to deal with emotions, I know you’re not really like that. I know you care about the people you love and you will do anything to protect them and make them happy. I mean, just look at all your friends. No matter how annoying you try to be, they still stayed by your side.”

“I mean, they didn’t have much choice. We all work together in one place so…”

“I’m just telling you that I love you, Babe. And I really wish you’d believe me.”

“I do believe you, Ames. You’ve been so good to me. You’re absolutely amazing. I just don’t know if I deserve it. And I couldn’t believe that someone like you would actually love someone like me. It just doesn’t make sense. So you know… I kept holding back. I kept trying to control my emotions because I don’t want to scare you off if I tell you how I feel.”

“But you didn’t scare me off. And it does make sense because I love you. And I don’t want you to think otherwise because I will keep on loving you no matter what.”

She kissed him tenderly trying to show him how she truly feels. And he just let himself get lost into it. Why was he even thinking too much about this? He’s with the most beautiful, most intelligent, and most incredible woman he’s ever known. He should just cherish this and be thankful that she loves him in spite of all his flaws. So he breaks off momentarily and lifts her chin so she would look into his eyes.

“I love you too, Babe.”

And they kissed again, somehow deeper and more passionate, making him feel so many emotions he’s never felt before. But this time, he’s no longer overthinking it. Everything is finally making sense… because he’s so fucking in love with Amy Santiago.

_Baby, the best part of me is you_

_Lately, everything's making sense too_

_Oh, baby, I'm so in love with you_

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Also posted in my blog:
> 
> https://contextualizd.wordpress.com/2020/12/12/you-love-me-why-the-hell-do-you-love-me-fan-fiction/
> 
> Please check it out if you're interested. Thks! 😊🌹


End file.
